How to Make Pony Get Better in One Day or Less!
by LastChancetoBreathe
Summary: Pony knew it was going to be a bad day when Darry assigned Two-Bit to watch him while he was sick.....


"1, 2-my toes are blue."

My nose twitched.

"3,4-my thumb is sore."

My brow furrowed.

"5,6-Pony's sick."

My lips formed a tight line.

"7,8-give him cake."

My fingers wrapped around the edge of a pillow at my side.

"9,10-he's sick again!"*

"Two-Bit!" I croaked and launched the pillow blindly over my head in my friend's general direction. Judging by the chortles he gave, I missed my target.

I groaned and sank further into the couch. My head was too fuzzy to deal with my nursery-rhyming, Darry-imposed babysitter. "Leave.....*achoo!*.....me alone!"

"Bless my soul! You're goin' to sneeze your brains out!" Two-Bit danced around the couch, coming to a halt at my feet. He waggled his eyebrows as if daring me to try to get at him.

I pouted and pulled the blanket covering me over my head. Why couldn't Darry have picked Johnny or Dallas or somebody else to watch me? Heck, I'd even take Steve at this point-at least _he_ wouldn't go making up words to every nursery rhyme known to man.

"Aw, don't be like that, Pony! I'm makin' you feel better!"

"That's debatable," I mumbled through the covers. "Stop rhymin' for cryin' out loud!"

"Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack help Pony get over bein' sick!"* Two-Bit sang merrily-in blatant opposition to my request.

I jerked the covers off of my head and sat up. "Stop that!"

"Wee willy Pony, sitting on the chair! Sideways, upways, is his red hair! Running through the tall strands, what is that I see? Is it all in my head or does Pony have the fleas?"*

That did it.

I swung my legs off the couch and stood up hastily with the intention of going to the sanctuary of my room. Unfortunately, vertigo and gravity worked against me, and before I knew it, the floor and I were new acquaintances.

"Rock-a-bye-baby, on the hard floor. Listen to me and you won't be sore,"* Two-Bit chirped as he grabbed me under the arms and none-too-gently put me back on the couch. He patted my head as he threw the blanket back over me.

"I swear, Two-Bit, when I'm better again, I'm going to.....I'm gonna.....ah....ahh....ACHOO!" I sneezed all over Two-Bit-and not entirely by accident either.

"Eww!" He jumped back, wiping his arms off with frantic motions. Once sufficiently clean-which, by his standards, wasn't saying much-he gave me a disgusted look.

"Don't look at me like that," I sniffed. "You deserved it."

"Ok, ok, I won't rhyme anymore." He put his chin in his hand and rubbed it thoughtfully.

I sighed. Maybe _now_ I could get some sleep.

I had just barely closed my eyes when Two-Bit exclaimed. "I know! I'll make you soup! That's what everyone wants when they're sick, right? Huh? You want some?"

"Sure, yeah, whatever. Anything to make you _shut up_." I rolled over, putting my back to him. The couch smelled weird with my nose being only two inches away from it. But I could deal with a smelly couch. What I could not deal with was a friend who thought that nursery rhymes were the best way to get rid of a cold.

Clang!

I jumped at the sudden noise from the kitchen.

"Don't get up!" Two-Bit called. "I got it!"

I pressed my nose further into the couch as more rummaging sounds came from the kitchen. The clamor certainly wasn't helping my achy head.

A few curses later, Two-Bit shouted. "Ain't you got soup in your house?"

"No!" I shouted back hoarsely. "Darry 'n' Soda don't like it, 'n' since I'm the youngest, it don't matter if I like it-we ain't got any!"

Two-Bit sounded closer the next time he spoke. I could just picture him standing there with his hands on his hips, but I didn't turn to look. "Well then why'd you tell me to make you soup if you ain't got any?"

"I didn't tell you. _You_ told _me_ what I wanted and I agreed because I want you to leave. Me. ALONE!"

"Ok, ok! I'll improvise!"

I didn't even want to guess what that meant.

I closed my eyes.

It felt like only a few seconds later when someone shook me awake. "Hey Pony, I finished your soup."

I blinked blearily at Two-Bit's beaming face. A soup bowl hovered just above my head. I sat up slowly, knowing that if I didn't, I would more than likely end up wearing the soup.

Two-Bit shoved the bowl along with a spoon into my hands, before sitting down expectantly to watch me eat.

"Thank-"I started to say, but a closer look at the soup made me pause. Between the chunks of poorly sliced cheese and half-cooked noodles, there was a suspicious brown fluid. It smelled funny too. I crinkled my nose. "What'd you put in here?"

"Never mind that!" He waved impatiently. "Stop lookin' at it like it's a science project and just eat it!"

I grimaced but got a small spoonful. The moment the soup hit my mouth, I gagged. The soup flew back into the bowl between my sputters and coughs. "Two-Bit! You made this soup with beer!"

"And?" he looked genuinely puzzled. "Beer fixes everything!"

I almost tossed the bowl at his head. "No it does not! I'm underage and I hate beer and this is disgusting!"

He chuckled. "You look funny when you're sick and angry."

"And _you_ look funny wearing beer!"

He checked his clothes. "I'm not wearing-"

Splash!

The bowl landed on his shirt, spilling its' contents all over him. I was aiming for his head, but this would do.

He sat there for a minute, stunned. It took a few disbelieving blinks at his clothes to realize what had happened. He stood up, futilely trying to wipe off the mess.

To my surprise, he neither said nor did anything to me. He just got up and went into the kitchen. I heard the water turn on, presumably for washing out the stains.

I shrugged and sank back into the couch to try to sleep.

Splash!

My eyes flew open as semi-hot liquid flowed over me. Amidst my own choked coughs, I could hear that moron howling with laughter. The soup stank and stuck to my skin in gooey, barely cooked chunks.

I rose slowly off the couch and faced my friend, who now looked just a bit worried. But I merely walked-or swayed, due to a sudden bout of dizziness-to the bathroom and locked myself in to take a shower......and I didn't come out for a very long time.

___________________________________________________________________

"Pony! Pony! _Ponyboy_,_ open this door_!"

I didn't bother to reply from where I was sitting against the bathtub.

"Fine," Two-Bit huffed. A pause, then, "Little Pone Horner sat in a corner, washing his beer-drenched, beer-drenched hair! Got stuck in the drain, pulled out his brain, said, 'Why didn't I stick with smart Two-Bit's care?'!"*

I slammed the door open and glared at Two-Bit's rapidly retreating back. "TWO-BIT!"

I followed after him with uneven steps. By the time I reached the living room, he was hiding behind the couch. I rounded the piece of furniture and readied myself to pounce.

He smiled nervously, "H-Hey now, Pony, you wouldn't hit a guy with-"

Smack!

And the fight was on.

To the surprise of both of us, I managed to drag him out of his hiding place and into the middle of the room. From that point on, however, my strength failed me and I did rather poorly. Two-Bit had just managed to sit on me and pin my hands above my head, when an enraged voice interrupted.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!?!"

I was never more glad to hear that lovable older brother yell. Two-Bit lost his color so fast, I woulda thought he'd been shot. He scrambled off me.

I rolled over and propped my chin up in my hands so I could stare up at a furious Darry. "This is your fault."

His anger ebbed a bit as he glanced at me in confusion. "What?"

"Next time I get sick, I'm going to take care of myself!"

"I-" Darry started to say, then his nose wrinkled. "Have you been drinking, Pony?"

I groaned.

______________________________________________________________________

*Ok, so the original nursery rhymes are "One, Two, Buckle My Shoe", "Jack be Nimble", "Wee Willy Winky", "Rock-a-bye-baby", and "Little Jack Horner". I hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading. :)


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